5 Ways Working With My Spouse Has Made My Marriage Stronger ~ Soulmate Workmate

Michael and I have been working together in our business for almost two years. In some ways that feels like a very short time and in other ways that feels like a very looooooooong time.

Working well together in a business setting is not something that is always happens easily. I think I expected it to though. I figured that since we loved spending time together and generally worked well together and complimented each other that it would translate into the business setting seamlessly.

While we didn’t have any major hiccups or revelations, it still took us awhile to figure out how to work together. It was a new place, new setting, and new relationship for us. We knew each other really, really well but there was still a part of our lives that the other didn’t truly understand – our work style in a business setting.

The first few months that we first started working together, I would say that we were in a “honeymoon” phase. If one of us did something that annoyed or slightly frustrated the other, we mostly just ignored it (who knew that “some people” only use certain pens when signing their name or that if there is a jar of pens sitting on “someone’s” desk they may be only for decoration and not for actual use). Since we were really enjoying working together, we chose to just focus on the positives and ignore the annoyances. This was more of a subconscious decision than a conscience one – and we didn’t even necessarily realize we were doing it.

After a few weeks/months, it was hard to ignore those annoyances and we hashed them out. Now I would say we are in a happy rhythm. We have figured out how each other likes to work – preferences, style, and habits. We know when the other is stressed and worn out and how to meet their needs during that time. We know when the other is playing hooky and how to capture that moment and have fun. We know when the other is scared and how to help calm their fears.

Working together in a business has brought us closer together than I had imagined. Here are five ways that our marriage is stronger and more intimate

1. I understand my husband better.

Before working together, I tried as best as I could to understand what his days at work were like. I tried to sympathize with him about dealing with an upset client, to share in the joy of bringing in new work or figuring out a solution for a big problem, to help process the stress of having made a mistake, or the humor in retelling a funny situation that happened. But I didn’t really, truly understand. And then there was trying to keep all the names and organizations straight!

I love that I can now better understand Michael and his feelings. I’ve been there when he’s dealt with a frustrated client and I’ve seen the joy firsthand from an exciting moment. I now have a face to put with a name and know who he is talking about. I can actually sympathize with him over problems because I understand them and can even help offer solutions. I love that I can be a better support to him because I better understand now.

2. We are forced to talk about our feelings and disagreements

We have always done a pretty good job of working through disagreements and not just “stuffing” our feelings. But working together in a business takes this to a whole new level. We can’t just “escape” to the office and pretend that the disagreement doesn’t exist. We also can’t take home a frustration from the office.

In order to make this work, we have to talk through and work out our disagreements. This has helped take our communication to a whole new level.

3. I have a better appreciation for my husband

I find it easy to get focused on what I am personally doing for our family – the countless loads of laundry, endless dishes, cleaning, etc., etc. It’s easy to keep a subconscious, mental “tab” of what I am doing. My selfish nature wants my husband to notice and appreciate everything I’m doing. I want to be thanked and appreciated for my work.

And while being focused on me and everything I am doing, it is easy to forget everything that my husband is doing. How often have I secretly complained or wished that Michael would appreciate me more or feel like he is taking me for granted, when all the while I’m doing the exact same thing to him? We can get so caught up in what we do that we forget to see life through our spouse’s eyes and stop and appreciate everything that they do.

Since working with Michael, I have a whole new appreciation for how hard he works for our family. Not only is he a hard worker, but he is really good at his job. I always knew that he was good at what he did, but seeing it first hand has given me a much deeper appreciation for him. I appreciate how hard he worked to get to where he is. I appreciate being able to learn from him. I appreciate that he never gives up. And I appreciate how amazing he is at dealing with people. I love being able to brag on him! Seeing him in action has opened my eyes to everything he does – it keeps it fresh in my mind and reminds me to appreciate him.

4. We have a better understanding of how we compliment one another

Being able to work together on projects outside of the home has brought a greater understanding of what our weaknesses and strengths are and how we can use those to compliment each other. I would say that we had a pretty good idea of what areas we were strong in and what areas we struggled at before we started working together, but working on a business together has illuminated additional strengths and weaknesses that we hadn’t necessarily seen before.

For instance, one of Michael’s strengths is being able to see the vision for the future, to be able see trends and the direction things are headed. That is totally not one of my strengths! But being able to organize and figure out a way to get from point A to point B is one of my strengths but not necessarily one of Michael’s.

By working together we are able to utilize what we are both good at and tackle a problem or challenge better than if we were working at it alone.

5. We have a united vision

We have always had a lot of the same visions such as parenting, our marriage, being involved in our church, etc. But there was a big part of our lives where we were focused on different visions – Michael more career focused and me more stay-at-home-mom focused.

Now there is definitely nothing wrong with this! I think it is totally fine for couples to have some different focuses in life. But for us there was something special that happened when we aligned more of our visions.

We still have some different focuses and visions but having an united vision in so many different aspects of our lives has allowed us to connect on a different level than we were before. For us it is fun to brainstorm and dream about the business and where we want to go and things we want to do. It is energizing and encouraging.

What about you? How has working together (either in business or in life) strengthened your marriage?

There has been a learning curve to us learning how to work together well but our marriage is now at a much deeper and more intimate level than before. And that is after only two years of working together! Can’t wait to see what we know after many more years of working together!