Finding the Good During the Bad Situation- a lesson from a trip to the hospital ~ Soulmate Workmate

I tend to look at life with an optimistic viewpoint. Michael tends to see things through a more pessimistic view (although if you would ask him he would use the word “realistic” instead of pessimistic!).

As you can imagine…..this sometimes causes disagreement between us. We have had to learn how to truly listen to the other person in the relationship and try to see things from their perspective.

Most of the time we come to a compromise, but sometimes we agree to disagree – we are different people and won’t see completely eye to eye on everything. I love the fact that Michael and I “see” things differently. I feel we get to examine situations from all different viewpoints as we talk.

Even though I tend to look at life positively, I have to be careful not to worry about the “what ifs” or to let a little discouragement ruin my whole day.

The reason I have been thinking about all this lately was because of something that happened last week. I went out to our garage to get something and when I was coming back into the house, the corner of the screen door closed on my foot. My foot stung and I could tell that the corner had given me a good scratch. I wiped the blood away and saw that it was deeper than a little scratch. Oh shoot, I thought. I think that is going to need stitches.

I sat down and looked at it closer and sure enough, there was a small gash that was gaping and was going to need some stitches. So off to the hospital I went.

I was annoyed. My evening was interrupted. My to-do list wasn’t going to get done. The kids were going to get to bed late.

But as I reflected, I knew there were two ways I could look at this situation. I could choose to focus on the negative or on the positive.

So I started thinking through all the positives. Michael was home when it happened and was able to stay home with the kids (he was scheduled to go out of town the next day). The ER was quiet – I went there and was home within an hour. It only required 3 stitches. The cut was on a place on my foot that still would allow me to walk. My friend was just getting off work at the hospital and came down and hung out with me. I found the sharp corner of the door before it injured Ana or Luca.

Even though it was an annoyance and it was an interruption to my schedule, it could have been so much worse. Focusing on the positives changed my attitude and perspective. I didn’t let it ruin the rest of my evening. I chose to be happy and not discouraged.

Now I know that this is a very minor incident compared to what other people are facing. I know there are people who in the midst of very heavy, depressing situations that seem to have no hope or end in sight. I have been through some of these hard situations during my life and it is SO much harder to stay positive during those tough times.

Here are some tips I have learned that have helped me stay focused on the Good while facing the Bad.

1. Count your blessings

I know this sounds so cliche – something we have all heard a gazillion times. But it is still so true. I know when there is something bad going on in your life, it seems to be all that you can think about. It dominates your thoughts and emotions. It’s hard to look past it to even see anything else.

But try to stop and think about the blessings you do have. It always helps me to think about how my situation could be worse (I know that sounds depressing). But it makes me realize that things COULD be worse. And realistically there is probably someone else who is actually going through a worse situation than I am facing.

2. Talk about it and have a good cry

Things always seem to be a little brighter after I am able to talk through it out loud. Crying and releasing my emotions feels like a bit of a relief. It is so hard to go through a tough time by yourself. Surround yourself with people that care about you and love you. Don’t be afraid to open up to them and to be honest about how you are actually doing.

I know this can be the last thing you want to do sometimes. If you have ever shared your heart with someone and then had them walk away without caring or not understanding then you know how hard it is to want to open up again.

But don’t let that stop you from sharing. Don’t clam up and keep stuffing things inside you. It’s only going to make things worse. Find someone who cares about you or someone who has gone through a similar situation that you can share your heart with. And remember that there’s a good possibility that they will probably say something at some point that unintentionally hurts you….we are all human and no matter how hard we try, it’s impossible to understand exactly how someone is feeling.

3. Don’t make things a bigger deal than they are

I don’t know about you but I can blow up a situation into a much bigger deal than it really is. It can be easy to fall into the “poor me” mindset. It’s easy to exaggerate and feel like things are worse than they really are.

Try to keep an accurate perspective. Don’t rely on just your feelings. Feelings can be deceiving – we can make things up or twist things around so that the way we THINK things are is way different from the way things REALLY are. Keep reminding yourself of the truth. Remember that just because you are worrying about a “what if” doesn’t mean that it actually is going to happen or that is really how your current situation currently is.

4. Reach Out and Help Others

I know it sounds a little crazy to suggest helping others when you may be barely keeping your own life together. And there are definitely seasons of life when we aren’t in a position to be reaching out to others – that is perfectly ok! Don’t feel pressured to do more than you can handle.

But I would encourage you to think if there is a way that you can help someone else. When we focus on someone else, it shifts the focus from us to them. There is something encouraging and uplifting that happens when we focus on meeting others needs.

Maybe it’s something as simple as sending someone a text. Or making a meal. Or sending a note in the mail. Or delivering flowers. Or watching someone’s kids.

Look for needs around you and see if there is something you can do to meet those needs.

5. Rely on God and Trust Him

Relying on God and trusting Him has been what has gotten me through some dark times in my life. I honestly don’t know where I would be if I didn’t have the hope that comes through trusting in Jesus. I know that He is in control of my life and no matter how difficult of a trial I am facing, I can trust Him.

How do you stay focused on the Good during the Bad times of life? What have you learned that has helped you stay positive and not live in discouragement?