Managing my Time - How I Work at Home with Young Kids ~ Soulmate Workmate

Have you ever wondered how people work and be a stay-at-home parent at the same time?

I sure did. Before I started working with Michael in our accounting business, I couldn’t imagine how there could possibly be enough time to take care of the house, the kids, have a social life, AND work. I had no idea how people did it.

Now I look back and wonder what I did all day when all I had was one child and wasn’t working! Haha But not really. The transition to motherhood was not super easy for me and it took me awhile to get the hang of it. And even now, with two kids, I know I could easily fill my days very quickly without working.

I am in no way saying that moms who don’t work are lazy and unproductive. Quite the contrary! Being a stay-at-home mom is one of the toughest thing I have ever done, but also one of the most rewarding.

But I have learned a few things while working, caring for young children and managing a house. I still feel new at this juggling thing and have so much more to learn. I am always looking for new ways and ideas to improve and do a better job.

Being ok with “good enough” has been a big thing for me to learn!

My house isn’t spotless and at times is very messy – but it is “good enough” for us. My diaper bag used to be very neat and organized – now it is “good enough”. I used to make a lot of homemade foods and yummy treats – now some store bought things are “good enough”. I used to do elaborate planning for holidays and parties – now our celebrations are “good enough” for us in the season we are in. My kids watch some limited movies/tv – that is “good enough” for us right now. I used to make beautiful scrapbooks – now if just print a picture that is “good enough” for now.

It took me a long time to get to where my mindset is today. If you had told me 5 years ago that I would run out of diapers or forget the baby’s bottle or go to bed with dishes in my sink, I would have politely smiled but inwardly told myself, “There is NO way that would ever happen to me!”

I still love for things to be organized and in order – I haven’t gone completely rogue or are a complete disaster….at least I don’t think so….haha But I have learned to focus on what is important and be willing to let my standards slide a bit in the areas that aren’t as important.

Another thing I’ve learned is being willing to ask for help when I need it.

This is another area that I really struggled in and am still learning.

Being a new mom, I compared myself to other moms ALL the time! I thought if they can do it then I should be able to do it too. And if I couldn’t do it or do it as well, then I was failing as a mom. I admired how other moms seemed to have everything together and were on top of things all the time.

But I finally learned a little secret. Moms do not have everything all together.

We have a little thing called pride that likes to make it appear that we can handle anything and are prepared for it at all times. And asking someone for help is admitting that you don’t have it all together.

I believe that God designed us to support each other. There is something special that happens to a relationship when you let your guard down and show some vulnerability with others (in a safe way).

That can be so hard to do – at least for me. I love to be able to help others, but to allow others to help me is a different story. There is still that little voice inside of me that whispers, “You don’t need help. You can’t let them see this messy part of your life. You don’t want them to think less of you. You don’t want to be indebted to them because they helped you.”

But….I have learned that I can’t possibly do it all and I have to ask for help when I need it.

I have asked people to watch my kids or help clean my house or run an errand for me. And guess what? They have all LOVED the opportunity to help!

I have also found that when I put aside my pride and share something I’m struggling with or need help with, I often find that someone else has also dealt with the same thing. They have invaluable advice and suggestions from walking through the same situation.

I don’t believe that we are made to walk through life by ourselves. I believe that God created us to need one another, to lean on each other, and to come alongside and encourage others.

That being said, please be careful who you place around you, who you open up to and allow into your life. Not all relationships are healthy ones. Make sure that you in a safe and productive relationship. Be wise about who you share your (and your family’s) life with.

I’ve learned to be strategic in how I’m spending my time.

This is the area I think my eyes have been opened the most. I realize now just how much time I’ve wasted in the past and took for granted. I’ve been forced to learn how to be more productive and take advantage of little pockets of time.

I’ve learned just how much you can get done in 5-10 minute periods of time. Before I learned this, I would usually wait to start a project until I had a large chunk of time. I like to be able to knock out a project all at once without having to start and stop again and again. (In my ideal work this would happen all the time 🙂 However, this is not always feasible or practical.

I’ve learned to try and fit projects into the little chunks of time that I have throughout the day. I can send an email while I am waiting for dinner to cook. I can spend 10 minutes on a project while killing some time before I need to pick my child up from school. I can write someone a note during a child’s ballet lesson. I can wipe down the bathroom in 5 minutes. I can read to my children for a couple minutes instead of waiting until I have a half hour to sit down with them.

Being conscious of how I’m spending my time has helped me be more productive. I feel like I am in control of my time and I am spending it where I want to rather than wasting it and then being stressed about not having enough time to complete what I need to.

I used to say that I never read (something I really enjoy doing) because I didn’t have any time to do so. I’ve learned that this is definitely not true. We all have the same amount of time to spend – 24 hours in a day.

The truth is that we will make time for the things we feel are important.

If something is important to me, I WILL find time to accomplish it. So, instead of feeling like I don’t have the time for something (like reading), I ask myself if it is important. If it is important, then I figure out a way to rearrange my schedule (or stop doing something else) to make it possible to do it.

Planning ahead and thinking through my day and week is crucial for me.

This is SO important for me to be stay on top of everything and to have somewhat of an organized life. I don’t want our kids to grow up in a chaotic house or for Michael to feel like we always running from one thing to another and always playing catch up.

Each week I spend time planning out our meals and thinking through what has to be done around the house. I figure out when I am going to go grocery shopping, do the laundry, clean the house, etc.

I think through work and what I need to accomplish. I try to have a plan of when I am going to do each project.

And I look at our schedule and make sure that it has some wiggle room for last minute things that come up.

Each night I also look at our schedule for the next day and mentally go through what I need to accomplish for both work and our home. I also try to have a rough estimate of when throughout the day I am going to each project.

So for instance, if I am going to do laundry the next day, I know that I need to get a load going as soon as I get up in the morning. If there is a big project for work that I need to do that requires a lot of focus, I will do it when my toddler is napping and let my preschooler watch a movie or do it after the kids are in bed at night.

By planning ahead, I can fit projects around our schedule (or our schedule around the projects that need to be done) and not be stressed because I wasted time earlier in the day when I could have been accomplishing something that I needed to accomplish.

I’ve learned my limits

My tendency is to want to be an overachiever and say “Yes” to every opportunity that comes my way. I used to really struggle with saying “No” to things. If someone asked me to do something, I would say “Yes”. And then I would dread doing it. I would be overwhelmed. I would wish that I hadn’t said “Yes”

Knowing what I can handle and learning to say “No” has been huge in reducing my stress and anxiety. Now I usually have a pretty good idea if saying “Yes” to something is going to cause me to be overwhelmed.

It can be so hard to say “No” – especially if you are a people pleaser like me. I hate disappointing people. I hate upsetting people. I hate not being able to help someone out. But I have learned to make sure I am taking care of myself and my family first – even if people give me a hard time for not participating or saying “Yes” to something.

The most helpful thing for me in learning how to say “No” is to wait to make a decision until I have had a chance to think it over and/or talk to Michael about it. Be quick to say “let me get back to you” and slow to say “yes” right away.

Do you work at home while being a stay-at-home mom? What tricks and tips have you learned on how to make it possible?